Corroborating the recently expressed beliefs of many within his own party that he can't win a general election, several new polls have Donald Trump losing against an array of candidates, creatures and inanimate objects.

Is a dating app for S and M enthusiasts being used to lure Tory MPs into 'honey trap' for purposes of blackmail? Backbench Tories apparently being enticed into 'torture dungeons' with anonymous photos of genitalia, then photographed while being bound and beaten. Security Services baffled as to who is behind plot.

Besieged on all sides by the armies of Joe Biden's shadowy Deep State empire for the crime of trying to make America great again, Donald Trump needs our help now more than ever. The following are some ways you and your family can save money to use to contribute more to our President's legal defense fund:

The future Trump Presidential Library in West Palm Beach drew a large crowd for an appearance by Lib_Crusher, an online activist known for his prolific authorship of death threats against liberal leaning politicians, judges and celebrities.

After refuse-filled missile strikes Brussels, spewing stinking household waste across city, UK is accused of running secret scheme to dispose of its rubbish by firing it off in rockets. Despite denials by British authorities, suspicions linger that rain of effluent over German city might also have been from malfunctioning UK waste disposal missile.

Within hours of the announcement that a deal had been reached to raise the debt ceiling, Republican leaders issued a statement reassuring party members that no concessions had been made that would affect in any way the lives of the extremely wealthy or their heirs.

Paranormal Investigator, Exorcist and Agony Aunt The Reverend Leonard Fanny advises readers on their supernatural problems. This time he addresses the perplexing case of 'My Haunted Arse'. Can a person's posterior be haunted and produce supernatural phenomena including apparitions, disembodied voices and strange sounds? The Rev investigates.

Former Vice President Mike Pence was arrested for urinating in a public fountain in Cedar Rapids, Iowa yesterday, the latest in a rash of crimes being committed by Republican presidential candidates shifting tactics in response to mounting data showing that the indictments against Donald Trump have only helped him strengthen his front-runner status for the 2024 GOP nomination.

When 45-year-old Ellen woke up in a soybean field after spending 36 hours aboard an extraterrestrial spacecraft, she had no idea that her nightmare was actually just beginning.

Is a Washington fast food joint actually a front for a child cannibalism cult serving flesh burgers to liberal degenerates? As acolytes of latest crazy right wing conspiracy theory attack burger restaurant, experts dismiss claims as being yet more extremist fantasies and label its followers as 'deluded'.

The American Nazi Party has found itself in the crosshairs of right-wing outrage after it was discovered that the organization has started to implement new diversification policies.

Are a new subterranean underclass emerging from beneath the streets of London's wealthiest districts? While right-wing commentator claims that strange figures seen in empty millionaire mansions are evidence of 'immigrants in the walls', top scientist claims albino beings descendants of domestic staff abandoned and trapped in mansion basements.

Early into the first debate ahead of the 2024 presidential election, eight Republican candidates were asked whether they thought anything was wrong with Britney Spears. None did.

As the heat dome sitting over the American Southwest continues to broil the region, rising humidity levels throughout Texas has introduced another issue for its suffering residents: the Lone Star State smells like balls.

What is the truth behind Tory MP's desperate late night call to local party treasurer pleading for money? Was he being held against his will in a sex dungeon over an unpaid bill for whippings? Or was he held for ransom by irate rent-boys furious at his encroachment onto their territory? Or was it all an elaborate scheme to embezzle party funds?

Colin Kuchar, who replaced Jim Trusty as lead attorney on the former president's classified documents case after Trusty leapt to his death from a parking structure Thursday evening, hung himself this morning. Meanwhile, Cameron DeChambeau, who stepped in for John Rowley after Rowley jumped off the George Washington Bridge Friday afternoon, threw himself from his apartment's 42nd floor balcony last night.

Are the world's cities under attack from titanic human trumps? Top scientists claim recent series of city levelling natural disasters actually caused by huge vegan farts. Are a group of vegan extremists holding world to ransom, threatening to global destruction unless whole globe gives up animal products?

ALVIN, TX - A gunman opened fire on an outlet mall in a Houston-area outlet mall this morning, killing nine people and wounding ten more before being shot dead by another mass shooter firing on the same mall, authorities said.

For centuries, but even more so over the past few years as governments have finally started to acknowledge encounters with extraterrestrial spacecraft, humans have been wondering over the intentions of our alien visitors...

One week after a video for "Try That in a Small Town" that uses stock footage to depict police brutality protestors as violent criminals propelled the lackluster song to the top of the charts, Jason Aldean is looking to harness his momentum with a full-length album of similar cultural-war-themed anthems.